英语笑话大全 笑死人不偿命的英语笑话【优秀4篇】
笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，书包范文小编精心为大家分享了笑死人不偿命的英语笑话【优秀4篇】，希望能够对您的写作有一点启发。
英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇一
给丈夫最好的警告（中英）
My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so that he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I' m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
我的丈夫对我时常波动的情绪很不高兴。所以那天他给我买了一个心情戒指，那样他就可以从戒指上看出我的心情。当我的心情好的`时候，那个戒指就会变成绿色。当我的心情不好的时候，在我丈夫的额头上就会留下一大块红色的戒指印。
笑死人不偿命的英语笑话 篇二
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her 。
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
笑死人不偿命的英语笑话 篇三
One Point
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind.， and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year －"62-63"， "63-64"， "64-65"， etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
一分之差
位于印第安那州瓦巴西的怀兹中学，其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球，上面标明年份－“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。
一天，我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来，说道：“多奇怪呀，这些队都是以一分之差输掉的！"
笑死人不偿命的英语笑话 篇四
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"
两个猎人在森林里打猎，突然一人晕倒了。他的呼吸停止，眼神呆滞。另外一个人掏出手机，拨打911。
“我想我的朋友死了！”他喊道，“我该怎么办？”
接线员说：“请冷静。首先，请确认他是否真的死了。”接着一阵沉寂，然后是一声枪响。回到电话中，猎人接着说：“好了，然后呢？”
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